When Andy Correns’s mother died, he wrote a no-holds-barred, painfully honest obituary for her, which really struck readers, and ended up going viral, reaching people all over the world and getting strong reactions, both positive and negative. Thus, this memoir was born, a memoir of his mother, both a celebration and a denigration, and the story of his growing up, the youngest in a family of six, in the 70’s and 80’s in Fayetteville, NC. It’s a warts and all, brash and honest story of hard scrabble life, a dysfunctional family, and the woman at the centre of it all who was vibrant and vital, but also could be a grifter and a gambler. And who meant the world to young Andy Corren.

This is Andy Corren’s first book (after reading this, I can’t help but feel that his mother, Renay, would have been proud both that he wrote it and that it’s all about her). He is a playwright and performer, and a self styled “first generation Jewish redneck”. The book is in long, loose flowing chapters that bracket the different seasons of his life, and are broken up into small sub-chapters.

I haven’t read the obituary that spawned this book. I was drawn to it because I love reading about weird and wild women like this. They’re not always pleasant, but they live interesting lives. I was drawn to the sense of humour and the honesty of writing about someone you love but not eulogizing them or erasing the ugly parts of life. I also think that reading about the more earthy, chaotic lives around us can be cathartic, knowing we’re not the only ones who go through this chaotic stuff and survive, and the outlook of “you have to laugh or you’d cry”.

The book is a little darker than I was expecting, though not in a bad way. The author has a wonderful tone, managing to talk easily about the dark things, poke fun at himself and his family, and has an amusing turn of phrase. Because of this, a book that could have been a plea for sympathy or just straight up depressing, becomes a story about a scrappy, tough but loving, gay Jewish boy growing up in the real world, where life can be hard but also funny, and his mother who he loves, who can also be hard but funny. I really liked how at the point of writing this book, he sees his life through adult eyes, recognizing now aspects of things he couldn’t see at the time. With age has come wisdom and a wry self knowledge. I really liked Andy Corren as I read this book. He is able to tell a good yarn. He and his story reminded me a lot of people I went to high school with, and I love reading books that are something a bit different, maybe a voice from the other side of the tracks, but without descending into misery-porn. Though it’s definitely the story of a downward spiral, as they slowly move down the ladder into less and less reputable places and Renay seems to spiral into greater absence and neglect of her brood, and perhaps an addiction of some kind.

While I really liked this book, I do think it may divide readers a little. I can see some people really not liking some of this not being couched as trauma, or the complexity of Renay as a mother figure, being a woman who is much loved and also a neglectful parent, shall we say. The author has found peace with this, but sometimes people like a neat line between the good guys and the bad. Some people also don’t like gallows humour, or the more graphic sides of life. I think from this, you’ll know if this book is for you. Andy Corren talks about growing up reading VC Andrews, Jackie Collins and Judith Krantz, with his mom, which I know some of you will relate to, and I feel like this has influenced his slightly dramatic, gossipy and oversharing style in a nice way.

It’s not a perfect read. Sometimes the book felt a little elliptical, repeating some things about Renay’s personality traits or life, and sometimes looping back in time in a way that repeated a little. I think this is just part of the way that Corren writes, but I felt like it could have done with an extra edit here and there. It’s a slightly waffly way of telling a story. It could have been just tightened up a little. There are moments that are a little confusing and left me a bit unsure what they meant, a little glossed over maybe. There’s not a great deal that we learn about Andy’s father, that he’s persona non grata and some bare facts, though we get a few more details later in the book. The most obvious of these is the brother known as Bonus, who seems very enigmatic. His story is pretty shocking, as he’s sent away at age 6 to some kind of home for the mentally ill and is apparently in and out of places for the criminally insane and things like that. But we never get a description of what happened there, why his mother despised him and forgot him, and why all the other members of the family act like he doesn’t exist. Into this mix, Corren lets us know that his brother was not mentally ill and didn’t belong there, but that’s all. It’s very enigmatic and I felt like leaving him out entirely may have been better than half telling his story. Also I think the last chapter could be edited to not be so long. It’s something that could be told in a few pages, detailing the last few days of his mother’s life in the hospital. Less would be more poignant here.

Either way, I really like this book and I hope to read more from this author. I think I may have a soft spot for him now, because the book reads like he’s telling a story to a friend. He has a unique voice that comes across very well, and a nice turn of phrase. This book is funny and sad, emotional, but not always an easy read, because life isn’t always easy or pretty, but it’s life affirming in some ways as well. Because we do survive the messiness of life, and so often we love complicated people who shape us.

I do have one question for Andy Corrin though: does he still have his beloved TV Guide collection?

Read It If: an all too real portrait of a beloved mother and a disaster, a woman on a downward spiral, and the youngest son who loved her and was shaped by her. Funny, dark, sad and salty.

Thank you to HBG Canada for the ARC of this book for review.